The Bachelor – Episode 5 Recap

Happy Wednesday! I decided to change things up this week and write this post in a retro diary format. Let me know what you think by commenting at the end. I would love to see your feedback.

7:02 Before the show starts the ABC news report about the caucaus. I would love to hear the views of the bachelor ladies. I bet Jubilee votes.

7:08 They are in Mexico City this week. Ben thinks it’s a really good place to fall in love, I think it’s a good place to have one of your suitors get kidnapped. Would Denzel try to save Olivia?

7:09 Amanda with kids just got a one on one date.

7:14 Ben wakes the girls up on national television with no makeup. Shout out to people who wear retainers while Amanda wakes up looking like a Disney princess.

New York Roots to Southern Boots

7:17 The two lovers take a heavy armored tank to a remote area of Mexico. Instead of something cool like a drug plantation they take a hot air balloon to picnic. Hard to get kidnapped in a balloon, smart.

7:25 The girls are back at the hotel drinking because they can’t do normal 20 year old things like iphone games, Instagram, snapchat, and watch those fast motion videos of food you’ll never cook. But looks like there is a group date in their future.

7:28 Amanda telling the “this is why I’m single with two kids story”. I’d like her better if she talked more mature, like if she like didn’t say like and the like.

7:30 Ben would make a good politician, doesn’t drop the ball especially when dealing with the delicate psyches on this show. Amanda gets a rose and will caucus for Ben in the 2032 election.

7:37 Ben kept the twin with the thumb cast. The other twin is probably back home organizing her stuffed animals on her bed with her two working hands so she has that going for her.

7:39 They are learning Spanish. It turns out the exact opposite of Stand and Deliver.

7:41 Group date wanders aimlessly the streets of Mexico City until they learn to follow the cameras to the Mexican restaurant that needed the exposure. They will be cooking.

7:49 Ben and Olivia ate a cricket and did a shot of mescal. I’d choose the cricket and I’m a super picky eater.

7:52 The co-owner of the restaurant said “grandma said when you know how to cook, it’s time to get married”. Jubilee’s team wins and the chefs say “we should serve this” while the chef compared Ben and Olivia’s dish to dog food.


8:03 Ben takes time one on one making out with the contestants so he’s not a bad kisser by the time he’s surrounded in models in LA. This seems to be Ben’s vetting out process.

8:04 Jubilee dismisses away Ben’s request to hold her hand as if he went to the bathroom and didn’t wash his hands after.

8:05 The rest of the girls are left in disbelief about how Jubilee treats Ben.

8:13 Jubilee is gone, sent home.


8:20 Olivia got a rose, other girls are not happy. Wish Jubilee was around to throw down.

8:27 Ben and Lauren H. are invited to a fashion show. The producers arrange for them to model. Lauren has been hanging around women with model looks and Ben is dating a lot of women with model looks so of course they knock it out of the park.


8:33 Lauren H could teach my kids. She probably taught Emily like 5 years ago.

8:35 Lauren H opens up to Ben about her past relationships, and then accepts a rose.

8:48 Basically everybody begging for a rose/attention

8:49 Olivia makes a tacky comment about Amanda’s life is like an episode of Teen Mom. I’m pretty sure the Teen Mom cast is no longer team Olivia. . . .if they ever were.


8:50 Olivia attempts to redact her statement with an apology and “tears”.

8:51 Emily spills the beans about Olivia basically saying “dude your choosing crazy and your going to lose the rest of us if you don’t change your mind”


9:00 Ben pulls Olivia aside after hearing a few girls air their grievances about her, and it ends without a rose ceremony. I don’t think I heard Chris Harrison say, “Stay tuned for the most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelor history” which now makes total sense.

What will happen next week? Will Ben take the rose back from Olivia? Can he do that? So many questions left unanswered and now I’m ready for it to be Monday night.

Thanks for stopping by!

Xo, Heather

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